EQUAL RIGHT
It is a common law in a Nigerian home (still looking for who made the law) to see various pictures of first born child beautifully dressed, cutting birthday cakes and the likes. The love and affection these people receive from our parents are so massive with reason being that they are the first fruit, womb openers and all other terms they are qualified with. Now, do not get me wrong. I am not saying parents do not love subsequent children. Of course, they do.
However, in this case you get to hear "Mio le waku. Ko kuku se alakobi". Translated as "I cannot come and die. (S)he is not my first child". Some parents even go as far as celebrating their first child's naming ceremony in an elaborate way but that of subsequent children with ordinary biscuit and soft drinks.
We are watching. Pictures do not lie. Things like this causes issue between children later in future even though they might not publicly show it.
This post is not to create enmity between siblings but to create awareness to parents, especially future parents, that every child has equal rights. Do not start what you cannot finish.
By the way, I am still looking for my one year birthday anniversary picture(s). Na d matter my parent and I still dey settle.
Till we settle the matter,
Mobola.
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ReplyDeleteThis is so funny and relatable.
Pictures don't lie, you're right with that. But, this is two faced.
When you say parents shouldn't start what they can't finish, i felt impaled. Lol, not because i'm a parent, but because tides change. I am the second and last born, i only celebrated my 8th year birthday and that was a family gathering. My sis? It was much more elaborate. Her 5th, 6th, 10th, 12th, and 15th birthday.
Why? They had the money at the time��
I don't think most parents set off to follow the notion that only first borns are celebrated. Sometimes it is tides. Not to dismiss your points o, you are right.
In addition, personally i think if they had held birthday parties for me, i'd have locked myself in the room. Lol. I love my birthday to be about me and about what i want to do. Now, that i'm grown, i love my birthday to be with the one i love.
Sighs. This is too long for a first time "commentor" (if there's any word like that)����
First of, no comment is "too long". It is all about saying out one's mind and I really appreciate it.
DeleteI totally get your point. It's two faced, no doubt but do you know there are times our parents do not even have the money for the first child but they try all they can simply because it's their "first child" and they don't want to be embarrassed. I don't know if you get my point.
Absolutely Mobola.
DeleteAbsolutely.
Great read though
I always run from commenting on stuffs lol
Thank you dear.
DeleteKindly stop running from commenting. We'd love to read more comments from you in future.
Most times, I feel it is as much money available at the time that determines who has an elaborated birthday or not.
ReplyDeleteNonetheless, favoritism still plays in some homes. But in the long run, kids get to decide how they want their birthdays to be. Especially when they are grown-up.
It's all nice piece Mobola.
I agree that availability of money is an important factor. But me I'm still looking for my pictures o😂
DeleteLol you are still on #TheMatter if I should drag that matter at my end I'm sure it will never be resolved. That kind pictures dey hard to find.
DeleteMatters never end, does it? Nah
DeleteI mean, my mum and dad have forgotten my birthday for four years consecutively now. Na who I offend?
ReplyDeleteCome, let us go and settle the matter.
DeleteMy mum doesn't even remember sef..😂. It's pictures on WhatsApp or excess calls I get that makes her remember
DeleteHmmm. I am a first born, lemme defend my people. Lol.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, some parents always pamper the first. But being the first is not easy. We are the tools they test their parenting with, we are the ones they always want to live their lives,forgetting we have others.
Parents take care of all your children
They have come for me o🏃🏃
DeleteBeyond the pampering, first borns are usually saddled with so much responsibilities and expectations. May the Lord bless them all.
This is a very sensitive piece. I really hope I could paint an elaborate picture of it.
ReplyDeleteParents choosing a particular child over another is looking for trouble.
Children who also picks one parent over another is also looking for trouble.
Every member in the family is important has a radical role to play and are not just linked genetically. More also every member of the family forms a chain block designed to bring results in life or death
A first child enjoys certain rights by birth which other siblings can comprehend
Rights like issuing of task and responsibility also exemption from certain task
Then also been the first child to use or own a mobile phone, computer and certain textbooks.
Things like choosing stuffs including food is understandable by junior siblings.
Other things like moments which includes naming ceremony, birthdays, graduation and other accomplishments shouldn't be biased
Your children sees your effort but don't over look the little things.
These days its advisable to open a trust fund account for every child so as to maintain your effort as a parent.
But don't pick your children.
What happens if the favorite is locked up in prison or something terrible happens
Its a risky adventure just don't!
Thanks for elaborately explaining this. As you've rightly said "little things matter".
DeleteI just hope this new generation of parents, including us, would be able to right this wrong and do some thing differently and rightly.
Thank you for your comment, Enah.
I actually wonder why parents will prefer a child over another one.
ReplyDeleteI wish Nigerians can know that it's ha cause more harm than Good.
Child preference is bad likewise child comparison. It both goes a long
Both are not something to be encouraged. We hope this generation would right the wrong.
DeleteWell I stand with Eddie, he has said it all. Mobola, I pray you find that which you seek.
ReplyDeleteTimi, the search would be easy if I have you by my side.
DeleteAre you willing to become my partner?👁
If you will have me, mi lady.
DeleteAs for me, I'd say tides change but if it can't be elaborate for the others ,there are ways a parent can paint a better picture so they understand that you love them equally but can't afford to at the time. This way, resentment and hatred won't breed. Kids ain't blind or heartless ..yet when negativity breeds, it becomes a danger zone especially when they grow up
ReplyDeleteI can't agree less
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